You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
