Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
