sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
