can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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