She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
