It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
