I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize