another moral hangover. fuck.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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