You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize