two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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