I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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