As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
