Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize