Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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