I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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