and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
