It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
