im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
