I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
