VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
