yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
