This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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