I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
