You work out of a Hotel?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
