and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
