That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
