The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
