Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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