The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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