i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
