Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize