friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
