planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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