At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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