Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
