she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
