he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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