Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
