i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
