Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
