its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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