He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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