i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
