He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize