She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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