I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
