I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
