yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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