it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It was confusing and full of hummus
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
