just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
