you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
