my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
