i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
