Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
