Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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