..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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