Can i not drive my cunt home
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
