Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize