I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
