it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
