Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
