i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
