You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Randomize
