Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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