That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
