If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
