I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Let's get the cat blown out
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
