Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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