apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
