if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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