You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
