So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
