Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
