Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I licked your asshole in confidence.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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