Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
