So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize