spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We just shotgunned beers for America
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
