so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize